


tell the truth, but tell it slant

by karaslance



Category: Dickinson (TV)
Genre: F/F, i love this show and these soulmates So Much, the rating is for the implications of what happened to sue in boston, this is basically just a drabble about sue finding out emily is sick
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-11-03
Updated: 2019-11-03
Packaged: 2021-01-20 21:36:01
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 1
Words: 709
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21288545
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/karaslance/pseuds/karaslance
Summary: Emily, her darling Emily, is the only person she wants to touch her, to look at her, or even to speak to her.But Emily isn’t here. Emily is sick, and Sue is in Boston.
Relationships: Emily Dickinson/Sue Gilbert
Comments: 17
Kudos: 236





	tell the truth, but tell it slant

**Author's Note:**

> hello! i hope you enjoy this little drabble i threw together after binging the entirety of dickinson. what a show, and what a pair. i love sue and emily and they are endgame and that's just how it be.

The minute she read that letter from Emily, it fell from her hand. 

This wasn’t the first time Emily had written to her, and, regrettably, she hadn’t responded to any of her letters. She simply wanted to give Emily space. Space to move on, space to grow without Sue being there holding her hand. There was no way that Sue could ever be with Emily, not fully, so instead she ran. She ran to give Emily space to move on, so that Sue could pretend to love Austin for the rest of her life. 

The letters had come often, and were beautiful. Each letter shocked Sue at just how eloquent the poet was. Sue often wondered why Emily would waste her time writing such brilliant and lovely things to Sue, even more so after she refused to write back. Why would Emily waste her talents on what she probably assumed were deaf ears? Still, they persisted. 

Emily spoke about the trip she took with George to visit the cabin at Walden; about how Thoreau was a fraud with no respect for women or humanity. She wrote about Shakespeare club, and how silly Austin looked dressed as Desdemona. She wrote about trips to her favorite tree, fights with her father, and the constant disappointment in her mother’s eyes. Emily wrote everything down and sent it off to Sue, seemingly not wanting even a moment to be missed in her absence. She ended each letter with a well wish, hoping that she was doing well in Boston and enjoying her governess position. 

Sue didn’t write back because she didn’t have the heart to tell Emily the truth. 

Her position as the governess of the house was a decent job, in fact, it was actually favorable. It was the man of the house Sue took deep issue with. 

At first he was a perfect gentleman, making Sue feel comfortable and welcome in his home. Then, he started to become a bit more touchy, a bit more suggestive. Until one night he came into her room and locked the door behind him. Sue couldn’t run, she couldn’t scream, she couldn’t move. He forced himself onto her and she was helpless, a prisoner in a bed that was only just starting to feel like her own. 

That night, once he was gone, Sue just stared at the ceiling, wishing more than anything to be in Emily’s bed, holding Emily’s hand. Emily, sweet Emily, would never do what this man does to her. 

In her mind’s eye, Sue wakes laying on Emily’s collarbone to find Emily already looking down on her. This time, she doesn’t complain, doesn’t insist that it’s creepy to find her watching her. No, Emily’s eyes on her is the only thing she wants at the moment. Emily, her darling Emily, is the only person she wants to touch her, to look at her, or even to speak to her. 

But Emily isn’t here. Emily is sick, and Sue is in Boston. That won’t do at all. 

She catches the next train back to Amherst to reunite with her love. She plans the whole thing out on the train back home. She’ll arrive at the Dickinson residence, tell Austin she simply cannot marry him, and spend however long it takes nursing Emily back to health. 

Because, no matter what happens, Emily isn’t dying. She’s not. She can’t. Sue could stand to lose another relative, she could lose a thousand more relatives if that meant Emily could remain on this earth with her, and that they could live out their days together. She would give everything she has left to have the rest of her days be spent with her poet, to spend every evening under the apple tree, to share soft kisses in that painfully small bed, to hold Emily’s hand forevermore. 

Sue arrives in Amherst and Emily is fine. Emily is fine and telling Sue that she needs to marry Austin and showing no sign of remorse for making the other woman worry until she passed out from exhaustion in the carriage ride back. She's acting as if Emily hadn't just caused her the most intense pain she'd ever felt in her life. 

Yes, Emily is fine, but Sue is not.


End file.
